Lily of the Valley

False Bond

2009-04-14T08:27:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of them. and their selfishness and their childishness.
Looking down on others as if they are above everybody else! They've got too much arrogance and pride in their system. They are so insecure of others! When will they grow up and be mature enough to realize that not all their friends will forever live up to their expectations!? Did they befriend those people because they posses the qualities they want and not for what that person wants to have? Its so frustrating to see, hear and feel that you no longer have any value for them because you are lacking a trait that they need for a qualified friend. Its so frustrating to know that they want your existence to disappear from their 'perfect' world because you are no longer worthy to be called a friend. Why can't they just tell it to you, face-to-face, that you are no longer their friend so that you can stop holding on to false hopes and false bond called friendship!

Chocolate Scandal

2008-08-02T19:29:00.000-07:00

"One day, Mr. Cadbury met Hersheys.
He Hugs & Kisses her and
put his Butterfinger on her Milky Way.
They were on Cloud 9.
His Bazooka fired with a BigBang!

Result?

Babyruth!"

credit goes to kiko who sent me the text message.
I sooo love it! hahaha! basta chocolates eh >__<

Don't

2008-08-01T04:44:00.000-07:00

"Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness"

Easier said than done..

Especially now that I'm beginning to feel so attached.

Please don't go..

Cake Charms

2008-07-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

Last May 31, 2008, I got a number of charms written on small pieces of paper from my birthday cake..
I'm not sure what those are called exactly..but since the words written are good luck charms, then I consider them Charms! haha!
I don't really know how many there are in total but I got to save 13 pieces.
There's nothing special about it actually..just the typical Good Lucks.
But what made me blog about it is the very first charm I read... hahhaha! LOOOL!!!
Anyway here is the list in random order (except for the first one):

You'll find your match in the most unexpected place.
Healing is a matter of time, but it is also a matter of opportunity.
Your hope and dreams will come true.
Be patient, you'll know when it's time for you to wake up and move ahead.
A life of stability for you.
There is nothing to do but be.
Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness.
Good Luck in the future.
Never idealize others, they will never live up to your expectations.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Good Luck will find you.
You will be the next maid of honor.
A life of contentment and happiness for you.

I want to eat a cake as chocolate-y as my debut cake again! >~_~<

My Girl by Sahara Mizu

2008-05-07T03:18:00.000-07:00

I read an On-going manga entitled, My Girl (not the korean one -___- ) and somehow I'm fascinated by its story. Maybe because it's what we call, realistic (there are tons of manga out there which are purely fantasy) and somehow it touches my heart (there's a cute kid! kyaaa~).

5 years ago, Kazuma met a girl named Youko who is 4 years his senior. The cause of their encounter, a Ladybug eraser (isn't it cute!? >___< hahahha!). They dated and in the end, separated. Now, at the age of 23, Kazuma found out that his beloved has passed away. Then he meets a little girl named Koharu. Soon, he realizes that the girl is his daughter raised by Youko secretly! (hahhahah! ahuhuhu!!)

In Chapter 2, the reasons why Youko went away and raised her and Kazuma's child on her own was revealed.
Its quite touching actually. Youko was selfish and at the same time, very selfless. Confusing but I understand her and her reasons. The truth is, if ever I (accidentally) find myself walking the same path she did, I MIGHT do and make the same decisions she did. I guess its 'motherly instincts' hahaha!

I want a kid like Koharu! kyaaah~

My Play counts

2008-05-07T02:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday sucks.

The songs and videos in my ipod were all deleted..
As in deleted, files no longer appear on the hidden folder.
I cant recover it ALL anymore.

DAMN.

Oh well..

that's life you know!
(remembered ACE! ahhahaha!)

STILL!!! my play counts!! T_______T huwaaaahhhh!!!

****

2008-05-07T02:31:00.000-07:00

Tila paniki kung lumipad
Sumabay sa hangin, ako'y napatingin
Sa dalagang nagiging manananggal

Napansin ko na, sa dami nang kinakagat
Kung kinakagat niya lahat,
May Pag-asa bang mabuhay pa?

Awit na nananawagan,
Baka sakaling makaliligtas
Sa isto niyang palaisipan
Sa kagat na lang idadaan
Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga puno sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga dahon,
Kahit sulyap lang ****

Ang swerte nga naman ni Oswald,
Lagi ka niyang kapiling
Kung ako sa kanya, pinatay na kita

Napansin ko na, sa dami nang kinakagat
Kung kinakagat niya lahat,
May Pag-asa bang mabuhay pa?

Awit na nananawagan,
Baka sakaling makaliligtas
Sa isto niyang palaisipan
Sa kagat na lang idadaan
Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga puno sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga dahon,
Kahit sulyap lang ****

Tulamon kaya ako sa bangin
Para lang di mo kagatin
Ito lang ang tangin paraan para mabuhay pa

Awit na nananawagan,
Baka sakaling makaliligtas
Sa isto niyang palaisipan
Sa kagat na lang idadaan
Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga puno sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga dahon,
Kahit sulyap lang ****

Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga puno sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga dahon,
Kahit sulyap lang ****

Lyrics composed by: Ni and the others \*o*/
Sing it with the tune of "Darna" by Kamikazee (ahuhuhu!)

Dedicated to ****

hahahha!! very nostalgic!! peace tayo Fatima!

Lilly is Spoiled!

2008-03-01T20:40:00.000-08:00

I've been reflecting for the last few days, and I concluded that...

I still am the spoiled girl I was in high school.

The truth is, I'm having a hard time changing that part of me. I know I have to but its really starting to hurt. Sometimes I seek my old classmates who are always giving me a hand, an arm, a shoulder, even a tight hug. At times I shed tears but my tears are not enough to ease the pain. I want them, I need them around me. There! I'm being a spoiled girl again! But thats me, the me that they loved and spoiled (of course).

You can try and convert me but I assure you, the Lee Ann who's not spoiled is not the real me.

I really love being spoiled because that way, I feel cared for, loved and my insecuries fade.
hahaha! How spoiled is that!?? >___< tsk tsk tsk bad Lilly!

I may be a spoiled girl (I'm no brat!) but I enjoy spoiling other people too. ^___^ Most especially the ones that are very, very close to my heart (guess all you want! I'm not gonna give names! muahahah!).

In the end, I just want to spend "spoil-spoil" moments
with those I love,
with those who loves me.

and with the one I'm starting to love.

I was listening to Yoko Kanno's Sora while I was writing this and, somehow this song has spoiled me. Not the same way as human's do but it forces me to relax at times like this.
when my tears just keep on escaping my eyes.

An Interesting Prayer

2008-02-24T22:16:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord,

May we, through your blessings,
Add purity to the world,
Subtract evil from our hearts,
Multiply the good works of your son,
Divide the gifts and share them to others.

Amen

This is the prayer that our Rizal High School Students say before our Mathematics class starts.
Isn't it nice!? ^__^

Sorry Daddy

2008-01-18T05:46:00.000-08:00

Just this afternoon, I had a chat with my English102 teacher. She was interviewing Yua and me about Blogging. Whats the use of blogging and/or for what reasons do we blog? Back then, I didn't know how to answer properly. But after I arrived home, I finally found it.

I blog to release my emotions.

Yes, I know thats very common, or rather, its already a given. But for a person like me, expressing my true feeling is just so hard to do. I'm not gifted in anything other than laughing and losing control over my laugh but I'm proud to say that I am very, very emotional (Note: I'm no EMO-freak; just emotional). Emotional to the point that I would cry because of too much happiness, appreciation, and even anger. Usually its because of anger, like what happened to me when I arrived home today.

Tired from an hour of travel, add the stress I got from playing Futsal in the morning, and the rain was pouring. I have been waiting patiently outside our locked main door for about 2 mins. Still nobody heard my knocks. I went to the garage where the laundry lady was busy with her work. I asked if the creatures who live in our house went out. She answered and I found out that my dad and two cousins are all home. If they are then why is it that not even a single soul from the inside could hear me? So I made very loud noises by smacking the metal gate near our kitchen with its handle (the gate wasn't locked but the screen is so I still cant enter the house). 5 mins passed and I was already shouting names and cursing aloud. I didn't care anymore if I disturb my neighbors. I'm getting angry now. I opened a screen on our dining room and called, actually, shouted my cousins' names again and again until JV came up and unlocked the door. Finally!

I opened the huge door aggressively, threw my wet umbrella on the floor, took off my dirty rubber shoes and went straight down to the kids' room. I saw them on the bed, probably sleeping before I woke them up with my noise barrage. Why did they make me wait that long before opening the door? I shouted at them with the thought that they were just too lazy to stand up, climb five steps and unlock the door. With the looks on their face, they were guilty of my accuse. They didn't even deny it. After releasing some tensions on them, I went to my room to get changed then the phone ran, it was my mom who called out of concern because I texted her that I couldn't get in. But I strongly regret what I did. I shouted at her saying "andito na ako sa luob!!" then she hanged up. I am at fault and I know that more than anyone. But there's nothing I could do cause she's not home yet. Mom, from the bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry. If only you know that I love you the most.. Sorry.

I went back to my room and saw my dirty clothes still in there so I had to bring it to laundry lady. I remembered that she said my dad was at home and is at the back of our house so I passed by there before returning to my room only to find him tending to his pet birds. The first thought that entered my mind was that, 'are these pets more important than you're own daughter?'. I told him not to talk to me! Grrhh! I'm so angry already. I went back to my room only to find that the portable DVD player wasn't there. So I went down again but failed to find it. As I was about to enter my room, daddy came around and asked me why I'm acting that way. Emotions overflowed. I answered him in an angry and disrespectful manner. Stating my stand and accusing him of not caring at all (I'm so stupid for having thought that), I couldn't stop my tears from flowing down my cheeks. My dad is the kind of guy who gets mad easily and I at that moment was already exploding from anger. I told him that I waited, for how many minutes I don't know, for someone, anyone to open the door. I even made the loudest noise possible and shouted at the top of my lungs, then he would say that he didn't hear a single sound. For ***'s freaking sake! How could he be so deaf??

Due to my uncontrolled anger, I went berserk and told him "Bingi!". He went up the stairs, to my location and scolded me. He told me that if he had heard my plea, he would have definitely dashed his way to the door and welcome me with a warm smile (I'm crying as I typed that line). I realized it just at that moment but I couldn't go back with my word so I continued arguing with him to the point that he so wants to slap me in the face but rather his hand only got my chin. Then punched my bedroom door and told me to get inside. I did and as he left me alone, still crying, I wanted to take back all the words that I have said cause its all wrong. I know that my dad loves me the most among his three children and being his favorite, my words have hurt him so much. I cried more and more, sobbed until my breathing became irregular, and reflected on my stupid and selfish actions.

That's it! I got out of my bed and sat down on the stairs while crying my heart out. At the same time, I repeatedly said "Sorry daddy, sorry". My dad heard me and told me its alright just don't do it ever again. He kissed my left cheek and hugged me. Daddy told me to stop crying because he doesn't want to see me sad and that he doesn't want me to keep a grudge on him. He decided to just forget all of that and move on.I was still sobbing but I'm relieved to know that its resolved already. I'm so sorry daddy, and thank you for understanding the stupid me.

While I type all those words, I'm calling myself a big moron, an idiot, stupidest of all, and unreasonable. I let Anger took over and disregarded all of the love that was given to me beforehand. It was the root of all and so from now on, I will have more patience and control my anger for things not get out of hand.

...This is the reason why I blog...

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year!

2007-12-24T22:41:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays Everyone!!

I have not updated for the past weeks..well, i have my reasons! >__<

First(and probably, my most commonly used excuse), I was tooooooo lazy to sit still in front of the PC and tell stories.. I'd rather read than type...

Second, I caught dengue fever. GOsh! i was hospitalized for almost a week! and its right after the LOL Xmas Party which was last saturday, December 15, 2007.
When I got home from Ivy's place, I felt my head ache and the next day, puff! I already have a fever.
My older brothers we're admmited in the morning and I, in the afternoon.
I lost my appetite. As in totally LOST it!
Can u imagine me saying "NO" for a chocolate bar? waaaaahhh!!! I didnt even want to drink water. Everytime I eat, I will get dizzy and throw up.
and and and and!!
The Hospital bed...sooooo SUCKKKK!!! I hate it from the bottom of my still weak heart! Until now my back still hurts! Its so uncomfortable to sleep on!

NOW, three days after I forced my discharge order, I have regained my appetite just in time for NOTSE BUENAAAAAAA!!!~~~~ horaaaayyyy!!!

Lastly, I am busy charging up again for the next battle!.....
New Year's Eve! muhahahhaha!!

Oh! BTW, LOL! thanks for the gifts! I love it all!! especially the very cuddly Tigger from my favorite pamangkin! and I would like to compliment my Twin for the very hard work!

THANK YOU GUYZ!

My Bestie

2007-12-04T04:48:00.000-08:00

During the past days, I have been reminiscing about the past.
About my childhood.
About my Grade school days.
The days when I was very carefree and jolly.
The days when I enjoy the smallest things in life.
The days when I would approach my friend and share to her stories.
Stories of my everyday life.
Stories of my friends.
Even stories that are not stories at all. (tsimis lang! muhahah!)

I have grown attached to that person.
Maybe because we have a lot in common..like having older brothers, sharing the same passion for sketching, and being addicted to various genre of anime shows.

She became my best friend when we were in Grade 3 and since then, we only quarreled once. It was when we were in 1st year High School and 3 of my other best friends (we were 5 originally - Voltes V) were also angry at her. We all turned our backs on her. I can no longer recall the root of all that but one thing is for sure: she was hurt.
After sometime, months I think, we all got together again. Past is past.

But because of that event, I saw how strong, independent, and confident she is. She's like the complete opposite of me. I started to idolize her and until now, i still do look up to her.

The 4 longs years of High School has put our friendship into the test. But no matter how stupid we, or most of the time-I, could get, we never left each others' side. Our bond became stronger to the point where we are willing marry each other if only one of us were born male.

No Joke.
(hahahhahhaha!) Right Ti???? >___<

My best friend knows all about it.
How much of a coward I am.
How dense and, sometime, arrogant I am.
and How much I deny to myself everytime I fall in love.

She knows me more than I do myself. An extension of my life, that's what she is.
She always give me the courage to speak my mind and do stuff that I don't usually do, never did, or too scared try.
She always reminds me to be confident with myself and that I have a lot to be proud of.
She's my strength and she makes me feel secure all the time.

We share the most censored part of our lives and opening up to her is not a problem.
I don't keep a secret from her! (Promise Ti! hehehhe!)

Thank you for everything!
I'm just a text away and if I have zero balance, just go online and chat me.
When all else fails, just phone me. hahahha! ^___^ *hugz*

Today is a very special day..
It's your 18th birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEA!

I wish you all the best Ti!

I Love You! Mwaaaah!

*I made two versions of the collage*

I'll say it again: Tingnan mo na lang yung pictures natin, andyan na yung message ko! hahahha!

This is a first..

2007-11-26T05:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning (November 25, 2007), when I woke up, I went straight to our bathroom and did the usual morning ceremonies. Actually, the morning felt so nice coz it's been a while since i got to sleep at 3am and woke up at 1pm.

Then I proceeded to our Dinning Room since it was already lunch time and everyone else was eating some KFC. I started chewing the juicy chicken when suddenly..

..out of the blue, my mom said "Ay beh, patay na si tita daks.."

I paused for a moment and I was like "HA? ANU? SERYOSO BA YAN? KELAN PA? BAKIT?."
I can't help but ask! ask, ask, and ask!! That's all I was able to do!

Back then crying was not an option because we're all eating on the table. Sure, the news had an impact on my mind but not on my heart, yet.

So the day passed by like it was an ordinary day, but, of course, everyone was giving out an aura of sadness.

When the night came, as I was about to sleep, I remembered Tita Daks..
She was an old lady who, though married, doesn't have any children.
Very often she would come here at our house and chat with us. Do stuff like sewing our long pants and the likes. She would do anything of her abilities just to satisfy our needs for labor work.

I remember how she took care of me when I was sick and my mom was not here in Manila. I phone called her and immediately, she came over and gave me a warm body massage to relax my body. The next day, I got well.

I remember her coming here every time there's a party and she would help prepare all the needed materials and ingredients. She's a good cook!
Actually, I was waiting for her return from the province so I could again taste the delicious and mouth-watering Fried Rice that she makes.

Unfortunately, there's no more next time. I can't even recall now the last time I was able to savor the great taste of that food.. When she cooked that fried rice, she said that it was made just for us siblings and that it is of her very own special recipe. I felt the love on that food as I ate it. Really I did. and as I was remembering it, my eyes started to swollen and tears rolled down my cheeks.

I lost a mother..

I was breaking down..no doubt about it.

The feeling was an alien to me. Never did I experience losing someone who's very very very close to me. It was like, a piece of my glass heart was taken away from me by force. It was a big piece indeed.

Lastly, I remembered her...and her laugh..her very unique laugh..a laugh from her heart.. the tenderness of her voice..the amusement in her voice as she says "uwaahhh..." and "aha..ha..ha.. aray ginoo..!"

Oh GOD, why her!? We need her in our lives! No matter how much I make myself believe that if its the person's turn to go, she would be taken by the Lord and make her rest in peace eternally..still!!...call me selfish or whatever you want but i just want her back..

I Love You Tita Daks.
You'll remain in my heart forever.

Surprise Party

2007-11-24T04:33:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BONG!!

It's my nephew's birthday today and we, his LOL family with Jestine and Meggie, threw a surprise party for him yesterday in Korea's condo Unit!

The past days must have been hard for him because we've been intentionally avoiding him..but we don't have a choice! That was the only way for us to be able to prepare for the party without him knowing that its a "Surpise Party".
Of course he would doubt that we have 'something' planned but what is it? that was the question.. ^___^ hahahhaha!

Sorry Bong! no worries! The LOL family will spend lots of time with you again!

The preparation.....
Yesterday, right after our Fil102 class, Ivy, Yua and I dropped by Shangri-la to buy Hotdog balls, cheese and Coke. Kuya Kalbo went after us leaving Bong with Lalay in UA&P. After arriving at Ivy's place, we discovered that we didn't have enough ingredients and materials...such as plates and glasses.. -___-

Kuya had to do some *cough* -thing and Yua, with Ivy, went to the market..
I was left alone at Korea's place T___T *sniff* so I cleaned up a bit and played with the balloooons! weeeehhhhhhhhhh!!

Then, the two came back (Yua and Ivy) and Yua lost his cellphone. ouch..
Lalay came and we started cooking the spaghetti. The three of us, Yua, Lalay and Me, were chopping the onions and what would you expect? teardrops? lots of it dear! hahaha!

Nugz arrived with Jestine and Meggie! weeeeehh!! the more the merrier!
When daddy appered, we made him do the cheese..i mean, like.. (I dont how to say it in both Filipino and English!! grrrhh!) ...basta! It's for the Spaghetti! muhahhahah! Such a cute thing for a big guy to do. ^___^

Finally, Kuya came back (past 5:30pm na) with the Birthday Boy! weeeeeeeeeeeehhh!! Kainan naaaa!!~ hehehhe! inuman na rin! hahahha!

I tried the Blueberry Vodka...GOD! it tastes soooo good! Goodbye Nestle Iced Tea and Hello Vodka! wahhahah!! Joke! (jokes are half-meant! hahahhah!)

It was really fun! frying ang washing the dishes at the same time! hahahha! Fun Fun Fun all the way!

The party finished late so i had to sleepover (again) at Ivy's place. Mommy knows and it's legal. hahahhaha! We, Ivy, Bong ang me, slept on the floor (sala) coz we were watching King Kong. Ivy and I sang "Happy Birthday" to Bong when the clock stuck 12am. We had a short chat and went to sleep already.

Such a tiring day but very memorable..it makes me cry T___T

I never tried organizing a party for a friend before and it was a good experience. I'll never forget the first time I cooked for someone else's birthday other than my family's.

Iced Tea

2007-11-18T03:46:00.000-08:00

You make me

lose track of

how many tablespoons of

powdered Juice

I have put in my

glass.

I want Storm..

2007-11-15T06:41:00.000-08:00

Okey! I forgot my username..great!
I blame it all on my Memory Gap..grrhh!
Had to use my yahoo email to log in..woohoo!

xoxoxoxoxoxox

To my twin...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

You're the BEST Kambal ever!
and on this very special day....you attended the HOLY Mass!
I'm sooooo PROUD!
weeeeee!!! GO Kambal!! go go go!! joke! >_<

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Our DEAR Filipino102 teacher gave us an assignment...translate the following to Filipino language:

1. Show me a man who cannot do little things and show me a man who cannot be trusted to do big things.
2. The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes but in liking what one does.
3. Every sunrise is a message from God and every sunset, his signature.
4. You can never do righteousness too soon for you’ll never know how soon it will be too late. It’s now or never.

Good Luck! T___T

xoxoxoxoxoxox

I feel tired..I wish tom will be a rainy day...NO! a STORMY day!! para walang pasok! coz I really don't want to go to school.. I'd rather stay at home and rest.. and dream..dream..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..zZZzzzzZZzzzZZZzzzZZ..

My first..blog

2007-11-10T06:51:00.000-08:00

hiya!
after months of reading the blogs of other people, i finally gave in!
i now created my own blog! hahhahahah!